Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Giving up

Dear Grandpa,


Why is it that I always find myself in difficult situations that I could have avoided from the start? I have such faith in myself that I can do something, but then I feel so overwhelmed and stressed with the situation. 


Example: When I was first choosing my classes for this semester, I did anything to keep from having Friday classes. So a class looked a little beyond my capabilities, no problem! Then syllabus week shows up and I'm feeling the intensity, but no problem! So what if everyone but me seems to know how to "scan" a poem (or what the word even means), no problem! Fast forward to where I am now, freaking out over the midterm for the same class. BIG problem.


I want to be able to do everything, to handle any situation that's thrown at me and to do it with ease. I'm trying, but I feel like I'm being squished. I feel like I can't handle taking on all of these difficult things. Worst of all, I feel like the only way to make life better is to give up. 


I'm trying hard for you, Grandpa, because I know you never wanted to give up, even if your body didn't support you. You fought up to your last breath. I want to be like you so much, but I really need your help. What do I do?


Love always,
Your granddaughter

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